That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
