STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
sex in a hospital.. check
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
