he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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