I wannas sexs uuuuu
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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