I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
