Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
