ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
