Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize