Someone shit on the floor
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
