Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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