it's too hot outside to masturbate.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I believe in your delicious
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
