I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize