If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
