Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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