I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
