The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
