You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
