I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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