im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
