I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
