Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
