Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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