'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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