He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
