Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize