theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize