I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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