One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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