So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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