drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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