I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
