After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
