and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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