it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize