so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
