Your dad touched me again.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
