You made me cry and you don't even care
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
