Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
