My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
