So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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