somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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