Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
