I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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