are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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