$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We left the knife in your bed.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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