is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
