I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
