im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
