a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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