I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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