I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
