You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
