I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
