Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
