Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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