I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
