I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
