the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
