Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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