Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it's like iHOP with fire
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize