I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he thought i was a dude.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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