STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
