hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
