As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
