Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
