i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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