Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
