did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
