Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
