She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
