Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize