My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
