glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
